When I was 8, my BFFs cousin convinced her that I was made of crap because of my skin color… therefore I deserved to be beaten. Three caucasian kids (a 14 year old boy, a 10 year old boy, and my BFF, a 6 year old girl) proceeded to beat the sh*t out of me. The only thing I could do was lay still until they finished.
Since it was the 1980’s, we were taught to report bullying to the closest adult - I went to the apartment building manager and she told me to stop being dramatic. To stop making things up (despite my cuts and bruises).
My BFFs mother later tracked me down to terrorize ME for beating up her daughter, son, and nephew. She tried to convince me that I was the dangerous agressor and deserved to be put down.
My BFF later came to me, apologizing, saying she didn’t know better. I forgave her because she was 6 and I knew she didn’t know better.
Now that I’m an adult, I have clocked this behavior with multiple “friends”…. mean girls who knowingly push sensitive buttons, then apologize, relying on my habit to forgive.
Now that we’re in a different age, my doors are closed. My energy, love, and kindness is for me and those who have been consistent.
I release all the bad done to me. This anger does not belong to me.
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